Yesterday I did something I'd never done before. I walked past the junior section of the department store and went into the aisle I swore I'd never shop in: Women.
I've spent the last few years spending countless dollars on new jeans. Frustration leaving me insecure and deflated as every pair managed to fit...wrong. Gapping above my derriere. Buttons pressing into my gut. Far too much effort just to get them to pull up past my thighs. But I continued to buy them. And I continued to watch the size increase from 7 to 9 to 11. When 11 got too tight I surrendered and started wearing leggings, even with the knowledge that they told the truth more than a 5-year old.
As my leggings developed holes and started to wear thin I realized...at 34 years old, my body is not what it used to be. My belly no longer lays flat when I suck it in. My behind found gravity and had started to droop. My hip bones magically disappeared. And suddenly my thighs had went from solid as a rock to an odd cottage cheese texture. What I'd dreaded my whole life has happened...I became a woman.
So I gathered up my curves and nerves and walked into that department store with a mission - to find the perfect pair of jeans.
It only took two pairs. I was blown away. Every jean shopping experience over the last few years had taken upwards to ten! As I pulled on those Levis reminiscent of the ones I wore in high school I convinced myself the 90s were back in style and I'd look as hot as I did at 18. The button hit right at the belly button. There was no gap above my bubble butt. My food-loving belly was contained by sturdy denim. And that cottage cheese - unrecognizable. I was wearing Mom Jeans. And DAMN I looked good.
And the great thing about Mom Jeans? They only cost me $40. And I haven't pulled them up by the belt loops once.
Yesterday, I became a woman. And you know what? It's not as horrifying as I'd imagined. Because this body is still beautiful, no matter what denim-wrapped package you put it in.
34 never looked so good.