It's National Waiters and Waitresses Day

Since today is National Waiters and Waitresses Day, it's a good time to give you this list of The Top Things You Don't Want to Hear From Your Restaurant Server.

  • There was a little mishap in the kitchen but, like, you're down with the five second rule, right?
  • Based on your necks, can I assume you want to see the dessert menu?
  • So the sign in the bathroom says "Employees wash hands before returning to work," and I'm all like, "Don't tell ME what to do, bathroom sign!"
  • We don't have plastic straws because we're trying to be green . . . like our hamburger patties.
  • That linguine with clam sauce looks amazing. Do you mind if I take your leftovers home?
  • The Health Department gave us a "C" rating. It matches the type of hepatitis our cook has.
  • If you find a ring in your lasagna could you let me know? It was my grandmother's.
  • Thanks for stopping by. We don't get too many customers since the "outbreak."
  • The only thing baked in this restaurant is the kitchen staff.
  • You don't need a high chair for that kid, you need a muzzle.
  • If you need anything, I'll be in the break room working on my screenplay.
  • Surf and turf here means you get a plate of sand and grass.
  • Can I make a recommendation? Go eat somewhere else.

Harder & Holman

Harder & Holman

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